MeghaMom

Sometimes even a writer can't write it better. And so, I offer you this gem that I've lifted from The Makeshift Mom's Facebook page. Happy Mother's Day. If for only a moment, may you find a little corner of the world free from puke, poop, dishes, detergent and tumbling dustbunnies.

Oh, Mother's Day. I can only imagine the masterful plan my husband is whipping up to ensure mine is steeped in sweet stress-squelching bliss. In the meantime, it's my job to ensure all of the mothers in our family experience the ultimate "Awwwww"-worthy experience for their own celebratory day of do-nothingness (finally!). And, since we're hundreds of miles away from our family and delivering hugs from the kids is an impossibility, I figured we'd deliver some hands. I started with some blank cards and envelopes that I picked up from Michael's a while back. Value pack came in counts of 50. First, I thought I'd trace the kids' hands on ornate scrapbook paper, cut them out and Mod Podge them to the front of the card. HmHah. That's funny. Have you ever tried to steady a 6-month-old's hand long enough to trace it with a pencil? Five seconds into the job he was trying to eat the pencil and crinkle the paper between his little snausage fin...

Continued from previous post... It's the day you've been waiting for: baby registry day. A store clerk hands you the scanner wand, a folder of miscellaneous papers about child rearing, coupons for already overpriced items and a list of recommended things the store says you should add to your registry. All the good moms add these items; you're a good mom aren't you? So you take your wand and your enormous prego belly and with a false showing of confidence you pretend to know what you're doing. You scan the shelves trying to remember what your sister/mother/best-friend-who's-a-mom told you as you scout out what you think could possibly maybe be something like what you heard was good that one time. Half way through the first aisle you're totally overwhelmed, and underfed. As you reach into your purse for a granola bar to power yourself through to aisle #2 you can't quiet the questions swimming through your head: Why is a butt thermometer 50 dollars? H...

Did I really just click on an article about the difference between vomit and spit-up? Funny. Seems like just yesterday I would classify the latter as what happens after you throw back a stiff shot, and the former as what wakes you up 6 to 8 hours after. But college was a long time ago. Here's the article if you're interested. Vomit vs. Spit-Up